He is everything to me, He is all that I need and all that I want, there is nothing in this life that can compare to the great love and goodness of my Father God! He saved me, He rescued me and He redeemed my life from destruction. His praise will continually be in my mouth! This poor man (woman) cried and the Lord heard him (her) and saved him (her) out of all his (her) troubles! Psalm 34:6 (KJV)
Here is a poem God put on my heart to write. It is called “Insecurity’s fight”
The battles that I face are nothing new under the sun, they are not unique but are common to everyone. When I was young insecurity knocked on my door and before I knew it, it had me on the floor. Wrapping its life sucking tentacles around me, it held me down so I could not flee. Insecurity would speak to me day in and day out, bombarding my mind with thoughts of self doubt. So convincing it was I didn’t see its deceit when it continually spoke to me of rejection and defeat. It said to me, “No matter the cost or what may come, in order to have friends under them you must succumb”. It shouted at me when I wanted to cry “suck it up” it would say and “don’t ever let them see you cry”! It advised me to bury my emotions and become numb to the ever growing loneliness that in time to me had come. It raged against me like a mighty storm, so battered and bruised I didn’t recognize my own form. Tormenting me with the day ahead, what would it bring and what would be said. “Avoid”, “avoid”, it would say “don’t argue comply, that’s the only way”! “Let them say what they want, and do what they desire, after all, why would you want to start that kind of fire”. It came to taunt me when I looked in the mirror, “what do you see”? “I see no beauty here”. “If beauty eludes, then why do you eat, those extra pounds just bring on your defeat”! “Maybe if you were skinny there might be some hope, but chances are high that you’ll try to lose but we both know you won’t”. With a good dose of guilt and a heaping portion of pain, it had reduced me to nothing and brought about a lot of my shame. So confident it was that its grip on me was tight, it jeered, it dared and it challenged me to fight! ” You are stupid and worthless, there’s nothing special about you, you are weak and you know it, that much is true. How can you win when you’re not strong enough to fight, I dare you, I challenge you to try with all your might”! It may have been right, but I will tell you where it was wrong, it did not factor in, that I didn’t have to be strong! In one moment of time, that’s all it took, for God stepped in and everything shook! I reached out for God and He reached out for me, my daughter He said you are now free! And although it is over there is still work to be done, each and every tentacle must be removed until there are none. In doing this I will not be alone, For my God is ever with me and He calls me His own.