When God messes with your comfort zone, day 6&7

Today’s post is for days 6 & 7 of the no makeup challenge, this is what happens when God messes with your comfort zone…

March 2, 2014
Day 6 and 7 of the “no make up” challenge. 2 significant things going on both days. Yesterday (day 6) we had my family here for my nieces 3rd birthday party, I will tell you for a moment I was mildly mad that i couldn’t wear make up, I do realize I have a choice but I also know I will stick by the choice I made and that is not to wear make up for 10 days. I do miss wearing it but, I am happy that I’m doing this even though I confessed to being mildly mad about it yesterday. The good about it completely out weighs the bad and I’ll take the good any day. For the moment I was mad it was simply because I felt the challenge, my family knows me yet I was more disturbed about them seeing me without make up than going out in public without it. I feel like I have a “standard” to up hold, I felt more vulnerable, uncomfortable and self conscious. I have gone years building up this image of myself of the perfectly put together woman! Ugh, there I said it, I want the appearance of perfection so that people accept me and don’t really see who I really am, imperfect, and I don’t want to know, that people think less of me, I don’t want to let anyone down, especially with my life, I don’t want to be a disappointment. I feel like if I don’t keep up this facade then, I’m worthless, and unlikable. I will be lonely. I’m not too sure right now where that comes from. I feel like such a failure, but if I look the part then people won’t notice what I feel I really am. Putting make up on is something I could always control and choosing to do this challenge has left me feeling out of control. I have to admit that I try not to think about the fact that I am make up-less, it hurts less. My little sister commented that I wasn’t wearing make up, not in a bad way, she said she can see that I look like my (our) dad, she also said she didn’t think I looked bad without make up on. My dad said to me on the heels of that , that a lady in their church approached him and told him she thought that I was so beautiful, it made me uncomfortable and it didn’t make me feel good, a red flag is up, I want to know why I felt the way I did!? Today (day 7) was church day, the place I felt I would be the most uncomfortable without make up,but, I was ok today, I wasn’t thrilled, but I also wasn’t freaked out. I took it all in stride. I’m getting used to seeing myself without make up on, it is getting easier. I want to work through my feelings and weigh them out with the light and truth of God’s word, John 8:38 says …and you will know the truth and the truth shall make you free… That’s for me, I am set free!

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