When God messes with your comfort zone

I have come to love and appreciate God challenging me, He stretches me beyond what I am comfortable with, but it is all worth it in the end. I have a short 10 day series I want to share with you all about a time in my life that God began to mess with my comfort zone. It was two years ago that God gave me a challenge, one that I would not soon forget. He challenged me to go without makeup for 10 days, for some of you that would be an easy task and for some even easier still because you don’t wear makeup, but this wasn’t about “wearing makeup” at all, something much deeper was involved. I journaled my thoughts and feelings over the 10 days I went without makeup and I’m going to share it with you day by day ( I will not alter or change any of what I wrote it will be as it was written, grammar errors and all). So let’s begin shall we…
February 24, 2014
For the next 10 days I am going to go without wearing make up. Why, you might ask? Because I want to be healed, emotionally healed, so what does wearing make up have to do with emotional healing? Well, for me it is part of my journey. I grew up thinking and feeling ugly, make up just helped to mask or cover what I truly believed about myself. I put confidence in make up, to make me look and feel better. Over the years I would allow myself to go without make up for certain things, if I were just going to be around the house or maybe go to the grocery store I could handle not wearing make up for a short time. Recently God has challenged me in this area, and I have to admit the thought of not wearing make up for 10 days was almost overwhelming. Being at home or even venturing to the grocery store with no make up on, well I can do that, but going to church or out with friends, or to a family function that is not easy for me. Emotionally it leaves me vulnerable, feeling exposed, these are not the feelings I want to feel! Clearly no one wants to feel threatened in any way. Why would not wearing make up leave me vulnerable? Make up to me is security, wearing make up gives a boost to the little bit of confidence that I have and now it’s gone, so where does my confidence lie and do I have confidence and where should confidence be found? I see this as God’s way of exposing my true feelings so that I will/can let him in and heal me, I believe this opens the door for me to have intimacy with God. I don’t know much right now but I do know this by the end of these 10 days I will know and understand far more about me and intimacy than I have ever known. I want this and I also know I need this or I will not be able have the relationship with God that I truly desire to have. I will be journalling my thoughts and feelings over these next 9 days. My prayer is to get everything that God has intended for me to get (knowledge,understanding, His wisdom) I want what Jesus paid for me to have, I have freedom in Christ. I do not want to be bound by anything that Jesus set me free from, including, insecurity, self doubt and internal hatred, that is not what God intended for me to have. Today I did feel insecure as I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in over 11years, I did feel self conscious, I noticed that I felt like looking in the mirror constantly to see what I looked like to them, I felt not good inside. Physically I have been sick with a cold, but not wearing make up I was exposed for sure. I don’t like to let acquaintances see me without make, my family sure, some of my friends ok, but people I don’t know well, that is uncomfortable for me.

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