One bad relationship after another…until him!

I am married to a wonderful man, he is strong, two kinds of strong, he is physically strong and survivor strong. I have told him so many times that he doesn’t even know his own strength! I would love to share with you all about my husband and why I consider him survivor strong, but sadly I cannot. My husband is also a very private person and I will respect his wishes and allow his life to remain private. That doesn’t stop me however, from sharing with you how wonderful he is to me. I mentioned in my last blog post that he was the first man to like me for me, the first man who ever respected me and the first man that held no expectations on me. I want to open this up to you and let you into my world a little bit. Before I met my husband I was in one bad relationship after another. In grade 9 I dated a drug addict, he may have liked me but, I didn’t really get the chance to know him very well, he would disappear for short periods of time and I had no way of knowing where he was. I was young and naive I didn’t know he was on drugs until his brother told me! The last time I ever saw him he noticed the gold watch On my wrist that I had gotten for my birthday, he asked to see it and gave me some lame story about how he needed it to get to his classes on time because he was already in trouble for the many days he had been away from his classes. I let him borrow it and I never saw him again. The next boyfriend I had thought that since we were in highschool that meant that we were mature enough to be having sex and when I would not have sex with him he got very mean and angry with me, needless to say he quickly dumped me. I had a few more guys like him after that, but they weren’t really around long enough to consider them relationships. The guy I dated next was abusive, he physically, mentally, and emotionally abused me. Six months into the relationship he started hitting me not beating me just hitting me, he would slap me across the face if I said or did something he didn’t like. There were a couple of times that he lost control and went further than a slap to my face, thank God that he didn’t ever seriously hurt me.  He would lose it over such little things, one of the biggest fights we had was over the cost of a pizza! That day when he slapped me across the face I was brave enough to fight back. We were not alone, my sister and her boyfriend were there and I mistakenly thought they would stand up for me, sadly they did not, they turned a blind eye and quietly left the room till the (fist) fight was over. When all was said and done we sat and ate the pizza together with not a word about what had just happened. How sad is that! I dated this guy for 2 and a half years and when I finally decided to break up with him, I didn’t directly brake it off, I suggested that we just take a break from each other, this bought me time, 4 months to be exact. In the mean time I dated one more guy.  When I met him we became fast friends and got along really well. We dated only dated for a short time when he took me back to his place and assumed that we were going to have sex. Perhaps I should have seen that coming but I guess I just wanted this time (relationship) to be different. I didn’t sleep with him and although he was clearly disappointed I thought he handled it pretty well. I was wrong!  He didn’t  break up with me he just cheated on me. When he knew that I knew what he had done he avoided me for weeks, needless to say we broke up. With the few of years of bad relationships I became emotionally depleted, I was so tired and empty inside.  Before my string of bad relationships I had prayed to God about my future husband and asked Him if He would show him to me. I hadn’t realized it yet but God had us introduced already. It took more than 3 years for me to realize it. Don finally asked me out and I remember the days we talked on the phone before we had our first date, we would talk for hours. It was in one of those many conversations that I began to see who he was. He reassured me that I would not be asked or pressured into doing anything I didn’t want to do and he honoured his word. Right after Don and I had our first date my abusive ex boyfriend returned and was trying to get back into my life, I was scared because I didn’t know what to do. The easiest thing to do or so I thought would be to go back to my ex. While I contemplated this Don stood up to my abuser face to face and told him to leave me alone! He did that for me and expected nothing in return. I know that because of what he said to me before all that happened. He said to me one night on the phone that whether or not we become a couple, that he wanted me to not go back to that guy, because he knew he was bad news. That speaks volumes of the kind of man he is, I get teary eyed just thinking about it. When I had gained some weight early on in our marriage I felt that he should have told me so, but instead of telling me I was getting fat he told me that he didn’t need me to lose weight to love me, that he loved me just the way I was and if I thought I needed to lose weight then I should do it for myself, this was something I desperately needed to hear! And I did lose the weight, with his love and support. My husband isn’t perfect and we haven’t  had a perfect, no trouble relationship, but God brought the two of us together and He has been with us every step of the way helping us. When we have a bad day(s) in our relationship it has helped me greatly to remember the things that I have just shared with you and that my husband loves me, that he is a good man with a big heart and we will get through everything  with Gods help. My husband is a wonderful man, and I am so blessed that he chose me to be his wife!

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